If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
