Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
