If i come over, it means nothing
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
