4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
