Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
