it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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