I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
