My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
