I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
