went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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