im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
