if you like me you must not know who I am
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
