He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
