the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
