This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
