yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
