For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
