Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
