So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
