I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
