I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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