ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
