i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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