we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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