You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
