Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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