sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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