I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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