hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
