Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
