life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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