do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
