talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
