Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
