kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
