It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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