meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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