is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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