did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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