Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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