Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
