By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
