She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
