I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My vagina is officially offended.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
