I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
is it fun? or sober?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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