My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
