If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
