She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
