She said her name was "party"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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