what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
