Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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